


Over Rocky Ground

by SilvertonguedClotpole



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 911week2020, Firehouse 118 Family (9-1-1), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Protective 118, Protective Eddie Diaz, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz, moral support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25149403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvertonguedClotpole/pseuds/SilvertonguedClotpole
Summary: 911Week2020- Day 3- "We Can Do This" + 'hurt'.An accident leaves some of the crew trapped down a cave system and only one way of climbing out. A doddle, really- except Buck’s bad leg has something to say on the matter.
Comments: 29
Kudos: 246
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Over Rocky Ground

**Author's Note:**

> I’m a little concerned this has leaned more into ‘angst’ in places, but there’s definitely ‘hurt’! It may not be exactly accurate but...creative liberties.  
> No beta, all mistakes my own.  
> Also posted on my tumblr (of the same name- silvertonguedclotpole)

Rain had been battering the city for days now, roads became rivers and mud slid into gardens from the hills behind. Any body of water around had risen, almost bursting banks and threatening more deluge. Not to mention the drainage systems, with water bubbling up from manhole covers or out of drains at people's feet. It had come from nowhere. A small warning of 'rain in the next 48 hours' soon became storm like phenomenon's, with a constant rumble of thunder, an occasional flash of lightning and high winds forcing anything upright horizontal.

"Have you ever seen anything as bad as this in L.A. before Hen?" Buck had to shout over the rain on the top of the truck, even _through_ the intercom system.

"Once. But it was expected, people had time to prepare. This seems to have grown over night."

Bobby's voice intercepted them, shouting, just as Buck had needed to, from the captain's seat. "Alright. We have two hikers trapped down a cave. Single point of entry, sloped down into the cavern below. One hiker has a suspected broken ankle and the second is unable to safely pull them both up. We'll be using a winch to pull the backboard up once the patient is in position so I'll be sending two of you down, one on the pulley, one paramedic waiting with the trucks, understood? We should be done within the hour."

_Oh Bobby, haven't you ever learnt not to jinx stuff like that._

"Who's going down?" Eddie and Buck were already readying their fists for a 'rock, paper, scissors' decision.

"Hen and one of you two. After the last stunt I'm wary of sending you down Diaz." The comment came through with the usual captain's demeanour but Bobby's face had a smile to it. No-one had forgotten the well incident (least of all Buck and Eddie) but they had gotten to the stage where they added a few more jokes and jibes to the conversations about it now, rather than awkward and sullen faces.

"I'll do it!" Both the younger men said together, eliciting eye rolls from Hen and Chim.

"Alright, it's Eddie's turn. Buck on the winch."

Buck shot forward, his hands in the air. "What? I was on the winch last time."

Hen scoffed and Chim shook his head, remembering all the times _he_ had been the one left on winch duty.

They bickered a little more until they arrived at location and even if he had kept up the play of being a petulant child Buck instantly got to work on the winch and securing his friends and team mates.

"If it's worth anything, I'm glad it's you on the other end of my line." Eddie played up the puppy dog eyes, over exaggerating his tipped head and fluttering eyelashes.

Hen laughed again as she pulled on her own rope to test the strength. "Get a room."

"You got my back boo." Eddie once again played up the scene.

Buck pushed his hand onto Eddie's face, slightly forcing it to the side as he snorted at his partner's antics. "Fuck off."

Eddie and Hen skipped away then with winks and puckered lips and Buck threatening to leave them down there if he kept getting this abuse. Bobby was beside him trying to hide his chuckles and Chim simply stood with his hands on his hips, chewing his never-ending gum and shaking his head.

It didn't take the pair long to find the hikers and attach them to their own lines, sending them up slowly and gently as Buck guided the ropes along the slope. Buck had asked Bobby why hikers decided to take a trip to a cave in the middle of a storm and his captain just shrugged his shoulders and muttered something about the idiocy of the human race.

Once Julie and Rick (idiot numbers 1 and 2) were safe and secured on the ambulance Bobby gave Eddie and Hen the go ahead to join them. Once again Buck watched as the winch wound up the rope, signalling to the crew that their partners were on their way up.

He zoned out at the familiar movement and buzzing of the machine.

He must have fell asleep. Buck was in a nightmare. He must be. For everything happened so much like it had on that night at the farm. Thunder rolled across the sea toward them, the rain picked up pace and feeling like tiny knives slashing at the skin. The wind increased, howling around the firetruck and whipping at trees and bushes around them. The lines in front of him flapped with the force and jolted on the pulley.

One of them snapped. Right at Buck's end. And he saw as it flew backward toward the cave and it was an instinct that flew through him, catapulting his body toward the line, grasping it and digging his heels into the ground to stop the momentum.

"BUCK!" He heard Bobby shout through the storm. It was even more terrifying to realise his captain was less than a couple metres away from him but sounded as if he'd come from half a mile away- just proving the intensity of the weather.

For a moment Buck had a good hold on the line, neither he nor the person on the other end were going anywhere. He had no idea if it was Hen or Eddie's line but he didn't care, all he could think about was that night, losing someone he cared so deeply for under mounds of earth, being told to expect the worst. His throat constricted with the emotions and tears fell from his eyes. He only had a glove on one hand and the other began to show signs of tearing and friction from the rope.

Everything was too wet.

Everything was too slippery.

The mud was a river under his feet, quicksand at his heels.

He knew the moment he was going to lose grip but there was no way he would lose the hold he had on the rope. If his friend was going down, then he'd go down with them.

Chim must have sensed the thought process because he was suddenly there beside him and holding onto the rope- it's not like the line was heavy, just awkward- and Bobby was the other side of him holding onto Buck himself.

"Come on kid, you got it. We got you!"

More lightning around them lit up the sky, illuminating the worry on the team's faces, quickly followed by the steadily increasing roll of thunder. As the rumble teetered off, Eddie's voice came through their radios. "What's happening up there cap?"

"Someone's line snapped, we currently have a hold of it. How far up are you?"

"Not far, want us to go back down?"

"Absolutely, we'll set something up to retrieve you both, I'll message again in a minute. You both ok?"

This time it was Hen's voice. "Yeah we're good, working our way back down now...gonna have to loosen that hold on Eddie's rope though guys, he can't move with you holding him in place." She chuckled a little and Buck's tension eased slightly, face reddening at the hold he had, instinctively pulling backward when the rope tugged on the other end. But even so, he didn't loosen his hold, he let the rope scratch and rip at his hands, strain the muscles in his forearms and heel where he was still firmly wedging himself in the ground.

"Buck." Bobby's voice was low and reassuring. "It's ok to let go."

Buck choked on a whine, the words hitting too close to home, too many times of 'letting people go'.

Bobby's voice again, and a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. "He'll be ok. You can let the rope out a little, it won't hurt him. Let go Buck."

Chim also joined, rubbing a heavy hand in the space between Buck's shoulder blades. Eventually Buck's grip relaxed and the rope began to slip through his hands until the end, torn and ripped, brushed his palm and he felt his heart skip a beat. He felt sick as he saw the material fall into the tunnel and disappear into darkness.

"Ok, we reached the bottom again, waiting upon instructions." Hen said.

"Alright...I want a sound off from the both of you." Bobby and Chim side-eyed one another, and then Buck. The younger knew that the situation didn't need a sound off but he assumed it was more for _his_ benefit, allowing him to hear Eddie's safety for himself.

"Wilson, present and uninjured."

"Diaz, present," But Eddie didn't follow with the usual 'uninjured' as Hen had, instead he said something Buck swore was meant for him, and him alone. "I'm good, I'm alright."

His shoulders dropped and he relaxed a little, sighing as two pairs of hands continued patting his back and squeezing his shoulders.

"Good. I'm going to send Buck down with another line, then we'll get all three of you up- together- understood?" Again, Buck was grateful for Bobby's choice, and fairly certain his captain knew that the only way for this to play out was for the younger man to go down himself- his nerves wouldn't stand any other option.

"Sounds great."

Once all was confirmed Buck was set up with the same harnesses and safety equipment as Eddie and Hen had been and was handed a brand new line to take down for Eddie. "Alright, straight down, hand Eddie his line and make sure all three of you are secure. Give us the heads up and we'll get you straight back up. You ok?"

Buck nodded, his voice still thick with emotion and residual anxiety. "Good, Bobby."

"Remember it's slippery underfoot, the whole tunnel is a mess of mud and water so mind yourself on the way down. We'll release you slowly, just like you did with Eddie and Hen and message up if you need us to slow down."

The young man nodded again, lifting his hand and this time being the one to squeeze the other man in a reassuring touch.

He began his descent, with Bobby and Chim lowering him slowly as they'd promised; he was caught halfway between being grateful of the slow pace due to the mess of earth underfoot but also wanting to just get down as quickly as he could to be with Eddie and Hen. His foot slipped and his heart was in his mouth at the sudden movement, like those dreams where you fall and wake up with a start. He reached out to steady himself on the rocks only for Chim's voice to ring out, clearly noticing the slip.

"You alright Buckaroo? Felt a tug."

"Yeah, yeah just hit an extra slippery patch. I'm good, keep going."

He could hear thunder continuously rumbling from above and some of the larger cracks almost seemed to shake the walls around him. The flashes of lightning would pulsate down the tunnel giving him a seconds reprieve from the false light of his head torch and lighting up more of the space around him- one particular flash helped save him from a knock to the head (or, helmet) on a rock jutting out from the ceiling. Through the storm Buck swore he could hear shouting, raised and nervous voices from above.

Then. "Buck, Eddie, Hen, we've had reports of debris falling in nearby cave systems, I need you to be on the lookout, if anything looks or feels amiss you tell me."

Buck thought for a second, knowing too much of a panic and Bobby would pull his ass straight back up to solid ground. "Er yeah, Cap, each rumble I swear I can feel the floor beneath my feet trembling..."

"It's getting close, almost on top of us, how far down ar-" The line broke up and only static played.

"Bobby?" Buck had stopped completely now, radio in one hand and the other placed flat on the wall to steady himself. "Chim?"

Another rumble.

Another grumble of the rocks around him.

Mud slid by him, a small river running alongside the rock face. 

The next time the radio came to life it was with completely distorted and broken yells of ' _Buck' 'Eddie' 'Hen' 'safe' 'hurry'_. But anything else was drowned out by the most intense rumble yet, right overhead and echoing down the tunnel, past Buck's ears and downward. It was deafening in the small space and Buck felt it deep within him, his organs and bones vibrating with it. And suddenly the taut pull of his line yanked him backward, the pure panic of being pulled up, away from Eddie, gripping him once again. Until it, and he, stopped. So suddenly and so fiercely that he fell flat on his back in the mud.

He looked up and could just make out the shape of a large rock pinning his line in the ground. But he had no time to plan his next move because more rocks began to fall from the ceiling and walls. One fell by his shoulder, narrowly missing his face. Another tumbled further up the tunnel but rolled toward him. He felt like Indiana Jones- he knew Chim would be proud of him at his newfound pop culture reference- as it bounded toward him. It was a large rock and he knew the impact would sting like a bitch, even with his helmet and gear on.

Buck did the only thing he could think of, knowing the irony of what he was about to do.

He unhooked the claw that held his line and harness together and let himself be taken by gravity down the increasingly mud clogged slip and slide. The tunnel raced past him, his descent quickened by the lubrication beneath him, and more rocks flew by him or toward him. A few smaller ones knocked into him, his chest, his stomach, his limbs, but nothing too large or damaging. The huge boulder behind him was catching up to him fast and he wished he knew how much further down he had to go, wondering if he could outrun the thing. Mud splashed in his eyes, momentarily blinding him, and caked his face, sticking to the pieces of hair shooting out from beneath his helmet.

As he began to wonder what Chim would say to Maddie this time, about how Bobby would go home to Athena- two people Buck admired as parental figures- and tell her Buck had been injured (or worse) again, a new light came into focus. It was below him, not too far away, and was definitely a beam from a torch. Someone was stood below him, looking up, and right in the path of him and his boulder pursuer.

"MOVE! MOVE GET OUT THE WAY!" He yelled as loud as he could. The beam moved and disappeared a second later but Buck knew he was close to the level of the cave for there was a little more light ahead of him, where the two torches were illuminating the space close by. As his own torch shone on the cave floor he readied himself to move as quickly as possible out of the way. There was already debris on the floor at the base of the tunnel where pieces had rolled and crashed.

The slope began to level out and once he felt his feet hit solid ground he used any momentum he could find to spring himself up and as far away as possible. His legs connected with the cave floor, bending at the knee, before straightening up again as he propelled his body to the side. Buck heard a huge smash as the boulder joined him a split second later, breaking into multiple pieces and throwing up a cloud of dust around them. He crawled a few more metres away before throwing himself flat on the ground with his hands over his head as the groaning and trembling around them continued. He wasn't a praying kind of guy, but he really hoped the entire cave didn't come down on them.

His ears still rang and his heartbeat thudded in his chest and head and for a moment all he focused on was his own vitals, until a pressure landed on his shoulder and he looked up.

Warm brown eyes frantically looked down at him with slightly cracked lips moving with words he couldn't hear. He tried to slow his heart rate, tried to listen past the tinny whine in his ears to hear what Eddie was saying.

"...'ear me? Buck? You alright?"

A sigh of relief. He could hear him. There had been some moments in his life- far too many in too short a time period in his opinion- where hearing Eddie's voice beside him was a treasure, a balm, a safety. It was just as it had been with the fire truck, or when he had spoken Christopher's name at the field hospital of the tsunami, when Doug had taken Maddie, and his friend had showed up beside him in hospital jail; or more recently, and still too fresh in his mind, when Eddie was believed dead in the well collapse and his voice had rung out on that stormy night and sounded like angel song.

"Ye...yeah I got you Eddie. I can hear you."

Eddie's head dipped down as if he were in prayer, his own breath blowing out in relief and the hand on Buck's shoulder clenched with a shaky grip. Buck rolled himself over so he was on his back and looking up at the cave ceiling. The rumbles had slowed and now only the odd smaller piece of rock fell or cracked- it didn't mean they were in the clear, another huge crack of thunder could send them straight back to square one.

Hen came into his line of vision, smiling down at him and taking the hand he held out for her. "Hey beautiful." He winked up at her.

She scoffed, rolled her eyes and said. "Concussion?"

"Nope, just admiring the angel face staring down at me."

"Whose? Mine or Eddie's?" She winked again then crouched beside him. "You feeling alright?"

He hummed in response, a wave of fatigue keeping his eyes closed a second too long to be classed as a blink. The radios crackled again, then faded out, then came alive once more. "118, Diaz, Wilson, Buckley, can you hear me?"

Hen grabbed her radio. "Cap!? We got you!"

"Oh thank god." That was Chim.

"You all alright down there? Is Buck with you?" They could hear the panic in the man's voice.

"Yeah we got him. He came sliding down and made an entrance only befit for Buckaroo."

They all laughed, even Buck. He was beginning to be aware of an ache in his lower left leg, his old injury, but ignored it in favour of listening to the conversation around him. He didn't feel rough, but he currently had no desire to move from where he was laid.

"What happened? We saw rocks falling and all hell broke loose?"

Buck took over, his hand a little too heavy when he lifted it to his radio. "Line got snagged under a rock and everything else started falling. I had a real Raiders of the Lost Ark moment with a boulder..."

His chest swelled even before Chim's voice interrupted- or, broke in once Buck had released his hold on the radio. "Buckaroooo, I couldn't be more proud right now. 10 points to Hufflepuff."

Buck's face scrunched up. "What?"

"Oh, come on...tell me...please, please tell me you get the Potter references?" He could hear the exaggerated nerves from his friend, leaving him hanging for a second before speaking back.

"You think I'm a _Hufflepuff_? I'm clearly a Gryffindor..."

Hen slapped his arm as she laughed but pressed her own radio. "Alright, ok you two, a conversation for later I think. So yeah, the tunnel filled with rubble and now we're all down here without lines, had to unhook them the moment stuff started falling. Everything ok up there Bobby?"

"Yeah, a few of us had to scramble to safety when the storm hit a bit too close for call but nothing's damaged. I'm looking at the tunnel, only half of it is covered, enough space to still climb through..."

"You want us to work our way up and out? It'll probably be steadier underfoot than the mud, we could probably do it without lines." Eddie was looking at their end of the disaster as he spoke; it was true, the rubble had tumbled down and only filled a little of the space of their only way out.

"Only if you're sure you can do it safely. The rubble could still move and I don't want any of you falling with it if you're halfway up. And I want regular updates."

Between them, both 'on the ground' above and in the cave, trapped, they agreed they would test the waters and try climb their way up. Bobby and Chim would be keeping an eye on movement from their end and hopefully send down some form of line once they got within reach, but trying to get a line further down, over all the rocks, wasn't an option. Bobby said the storm had moved on a little, rain and wind still battering them but the heavy cracks of thunder that had been causing the damage were becoming more and more distant. They couldn't rush this, but they also couldn't waste any time in case there was anymore storms incoming or after-effects from the earlier one.

"Alright lazy head, up and at-em." Eddie held out his hands for Buck to grab and once he did they worked together to lift him back onto his feet. There was a jolt up Buck's left leg but he quickly shifted his weight onto the right leg as they scrutinized the mouth of the cave. "Oh well, here goes."

Hen moved forward first, then Eddie, followed by Buck. The moment he put his left foot on the ground it flared again, a sensation of intense achiness, deep rooted in his limb, pulsing out before disappearing again when he lifted the leg to walk forward on his right leg. He managed to hold the hisses in for a short while but let out a pained curse when he tripped on a rock and landed once more on his bad leg.

Eddie whipped around. "You ok?"

Buck, who would absolutely more preferably pretend he was on top of the world and not in pain, was bent over, a hand pressed to the knee of his bad leg. He looked up at his team mates, his _friends_ , and shook his head. "Leg's bothering me."

Hen walked forward first, her face now marred with concern. "How bad?"

"Not terribly, but definitely not fun. Flares up each time I walk on it."

A silent plan formed between Eddie and Hen as the former held onto Buck from behind and the latter began removing his shoe and trying to roll up his pants leg- not easy in the heavy turnout gear they wore. "Tell me if I'm hurting you too much."

He nodded at her and watched her hands roam his shin and ankle. Hen hummed as she worked, squeezing his leg in places and rotating joints before nodding. "I can't feel anything Buckaroo, the muscles are a little tight and your leg seems a bit red but nothing obvious. Do you know what could have caused the pain?"

Buck awkwardly leant his helmeted head on Eddie's shoulder, looking up at the ceiling of the cave. "Probably the impact from the cave floor, had to use my left leg more to jump out of the way. I felt a bit of a jolt but I didn't feel anything break."

She hummed again. "Probably the jolt like you said, the damage of the limb is still fresh enough for it to bruise it a little more. Your tibia is more susceptible to knocks right now, taking into consideration different angles or pressures; remember when you were jumping from one building to the next at that apartment fire a few weeks ago and you were fine, then a week later you walked into the coffee table and was limping for the whole weekend? Same thing. And just now, you landed at an angle it didn't like, probably shoved it a little more than was healthy and the moment you put all your weight on it, it protested."

"But, you think, overall, he's good?" The small tufts of Buck's hair peaking from his helmet tickled at Eddie's face as he nodded in question to Hen.

"He'll be in pain for the rest of the week but nothing broken." She smiled at him. "I'm not keen on letting you do this work on it though Buck, it won't be easy."

Buck returned his gaze to her, smiling and hoping to reassure her. "I went through PT, this will be a doddle."

She didn't look much more convinced but stood up. "Look, we'll take it steady alright, and if you need us to stop you tell us." The voice and stern look she gave was something he'd seen her use on Denny, it meant business, it meant _"I'm warning you"_ in as motherly a way as possible.

Another nod and they made their way over to the first line of rubble. Buck limped for a minute or two before Eddie found a place beside him and took some of the taller man's weight, climbing over boulders as one.

Hen was slightly ahead waiting for them at the base of the incline, looking up. "I'm worried something's gonna give when we're halfway up, not keen on the idea of a tumble all the way back down."

"We'll go steady, like we said, test every rock before we move up. Got our helmets, all torches working correctly, we can do this."

The first few minutes weren't too bad, it was much more level at the base of the rubble and felt more like clambering through the spread out toys of their kids when they were all together. Buck winced a little, lifting his leg awkwardly and trying to use his right leg more when he could. Eddie and Hen pulled him over a few larger pieces of debris and sat with him on another when he strained a little too much and needed to catch his breath.

"If you can't do it Buck, don't push yourself, we can think of a plan B." Hen rubbed his shoulder.

"No. No I got it. I can do this." And, to prove his point, he stood up straight again, winced as he put his full weight on both legs but pushed on regardless. The team knew he was hiding it now, and that was more of a worry than the whole situation itself.

Once they got past the first layer it became gradually more difficult to work their way up- the incline itself proving harder than they thought, rubble shifting beneath them or careening down into their path, and the numb and stiff fingers from working so long in bad weather hindered rather a lot. Hen had taken the helm of the group, with Buck in the middle, and Eddie bringing up the rear.

"I hate hills like this, always seem less steep when you come down them but the minute you try to get back up it's like climbing Mount Everest." Hen panted between breaths.

"Climbed Everest often, have you Hen?" Buck was panting just as much, if not more, but kept up the camaraderie for his team- and maybe a little help in making them believe he was doing fine. Spoiler, he wasn't.

She bit and, smirking, replied quickly. "Last week actually. They're thinking of re-naming the peak after me."

They laughed but Buck took the opportunity to hide another groan and taut face as a stronger wave of pain swept up his leg. He could feel himself struggling already, with sweat beading on his face and his hands shaking as he reached for another rock. They'd only been going 15 minutes- at most- and he knew they'd barely made it a fifth of the way up.

Hen kept, less than subtly, looking behind her and eyeing up Buck, and every time (or, at least, every time he _noticed_ ) he would give her a dazzling smile back. He didn't want to think about what she'd seen when he wasn't aware because it probably wouldn't have gone in his favour.

After another 10 minutes of arduous climbing Eddie called from behind. "You both doing ok? Anyone need a break?"

Buck knew 'both' and 'anyone' actually meant _Buck_ but he tried to ignore it, he knew they meant well but his pain was grating on his already frayed nerves. "I'm good." Hen answered.

Buck was going to answer but nausea took hold and his thoughts fogged with nothing other than 'swallow' 'breath' 'ignore'.

"Buck?" Eddie's voice again, this time closer.

He'd stopped.

When had he stopped?!

Eddie had climbed his way beside Buck's still form and put a hand on his arm. "You with us?" He looked up toward where Buck guessed Hen was still paused and raised his eyebrows.

A second later and Buck could breath again. "I'm, I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

Buck gave Eddie a hard stare but got one in return. "I said I'm fine. Stop bothering me."

"Yeah, because your face and whole demeanour scream 'fine' to us."

Buck got angry, and he didn't mean to lash out at his friends but right now they were just another pain for him and he hated this attention; it only served to make him feel like a failure again, weak, and not worthy of his job. So he pushed off from the rocks he had stopped on and fought his way further up, even passing Hen, in swift movements. If his determination to stop their worried gazes worked well enough, it might also help spur him all the way to the top.

"Buck. Buck just slow down." At this point he didn't even care who said it, his mind filtered the voices and words as a buzzing nuisance.

"Come on." He shot back.

For a while they worked in silence, though he could hear mutters and whispered voices from behind him. A few times one of them slipped or caught themselves on a rock but they pushed on in an awkward unit. At some point Eddie remembered they'd promised to keep Bobby updated.

"Eddie to ground crew, just checking in. We're working our way up, no idea how far we are but so far so good."

"Glad to hear it Eddie. How's the rock's looking? Much movement?"

"A bit, we're testing as much as we can before we progress further." Buck could feel the stare on his back because _he_ wasn't exactly testing every movement, sometimes just ploughing on through layers of debris.

"And all of you? You all ok?" Again, 'all' was code for 'Buck'.

Buck had had enough, another strand of his patience wearing thin. He grabbed his own radio and spoke to his captain. " _Buck_ is fine." He spat out.

There was a pause before Bobby replied back with a simple 'glad to hear' and sighed off again. As Buck began to climb again Eddie spoke up. "He's just worried, we all are, why are you throwing this back in our faces?"

Buck didn't answer.

"Hey! Buckley!"

"Oh, it's _Buckley_ now is it? I'm sorry _Diaz._ " He knows as soon as he's rested he'd regret all the anger and petulance but right now it's the only thing making him feel good.

"Fuck sake. Why can't we worry over you?"

"Because you should be sick of worrying over me. I'm always in some sort of trouble and I can't let myself get held back or thrown down again. I can't be left behind again and I can't lose my way. I have to keep going because I don't want to stop, I don't dare stop. I..." He realised how far he'd gone, how much he'd said when he'd meant to just shout at his friends to stop caring about him- and how stupid did that sound when he thought of it that way!?

"So, we can't worry about you to show we care? You don't want to get left behind but you won't let us in."

"Says the pot to the kettle."

"Buck!" Hen used her Denny voice again. He let himself deflate a little, leaning on the rocks at a strange angle, feeling like he was lying down, but stood up.

"I'm sorry. I just...I'm sick of the world shitting on me. And right now I'm just tired."

Eddie shifted his weight and began to come closer to Buck, his eyes big and sad, but a rock a little beneath where he'd previously been perched shook and slipped out and suddenly all three of them were sent skittering backward down the slope. Hen and Eddie managed to right themselves pretty quickly on sections closer to the walls that weren't shifting but Buck hadn't been so lucky. On his way past the pair Eddie reached out and grabbed him by the arm, whilst Hen leant over and grabbed a handful of material from somewhere by his neck. The two of them lifted him up and he managed to steady himself just as they had. His face was deathly pale and covered in sweat and his breathing was broken. A hand that had come to grab onto Eddie's was trembling too.

"Buckaroo?" Hen shuffled over and now the three were a huddled group on the right hand side of the tunnel. Luckily, all the rocks had settled again. "Hey baby, hey."

Buck laboured out another breath, shaking as he did. "I can't. I can't do this."

"We don't have to, remember, we can stop, go back."

"NO!" The hand holding Eddie's clenched with his anger but the moment his head touched the rock beneath it he let out a sob. "I _have_ to. I have to do this."

"You really don't Buck." Eddie pulled the man closer and tapped his helmet to Buck's, allowing his breath to ghost over the hair on his friend's neck. "You don't have to."

"I do. I gotta..."

There was some silence as Eddie and Hen looked at one another with sad faces. "Ok. Ok Buck, if you _absolutely_ want to do this, we do it together. We'll climb together, pull one another up, wait for all three of us to be ready again before we go further. We take it one rock at a time."

But Buck didn't seem to be listening, he was sobbing into the dirt with anger and resignation, completely lost in his misery and panic. The two other firefighters knew the signs of an oncoming panic attack and knew they needed to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

Eddie sighed as he pressed on his radio. "Bobby? Chim?"

"Yeah Eddie?"

"I need Maddie on the phone. And Chris and Carla if possible. Maybe even Athena."

"Athena's here Eddie, she came a few minutes ago. Chim's just working on contacting Maddie...what's this about?" They could hear Bobby's uncertainty, for all he knew, Chim could be ringing Maddie to tell her bad news.

"Buck just needs some extra voices right now. He's sick of me and Hen." Buck 'laughed' through a sob at the latter comment.

A moment later and a distorted voice rang out- apparently playing a phone conversation over a radio didn't work too well. "Eddie?" It was Maddie.

"Hey Maddie, look, Buck's having a bit of a tough time and I think his big sister might help a little."

"Daddy?" Ah, Chris, which meant Carla was on the line too as she was currently babysitting him.

"Hey buddy, I was just telling Aunt Maddie and Bobby that Buck needs some love right now. Think you can do that?"

"YEAH!" He could imagine the kid jumping up and down in his seat.

"Ok! So Buck hurt his leg a little and he needs to climb up this big hill with Hen and I but he's struggling, he needs some encouragement."

There wasn't a moment's hesitation before Christopher's voice almost screamed out. "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming Buck!"

Carla's deep chuckle came through and joined in. "Keep going Buckaroo, remember how you bossed PT, this is just another challenge and you'll get through it like you do everything, like I've watched you do so many times because you're more than amazing."

"Evan? Evan I know you're hurting. I know you're struggling but I promise you that you can do this. I know you have it in you and so does everyone else. They know just how amazing a man you are, how special you are, and they've watched you grow so much and they're so proud of you. _I'm_ so proud of you. I can't believe how resilient and clever and loving and powerful my baby brother is, how he's fought so much, how he took his life into his own hands and broke free and did what he wanted, what he _needed_. And Evan those were the best choices you ever made, they lead you here, lead you to your new family and I am so proud. You're tired, I know, but Evan Buckley doesn't give up, I've seen him punch defeat in the face and run straight through to beating whatever is in his way. And we're all waiting for you Buck, we'll all be home or at the station and at the top of the hill when you get there. I need you to fight."

Way to make it sound like he was dying...he _wasn't_ dying, was he? His brain was a mess.

Athena laughed over the radio but it was melancholic. "No baby, you're not dying. You know us, dramatics are the only way."

Someone rubbed at his shoulder and back again from behind him. "It's so hard." The words came out in a mumbled mess and he knows that later he'll regret crying over the 'phone' with Chris on the line, never wanting to worry the kid.

"We don't have to keep going, we can wait for plan b, remember?" Hen's voice was so soft and motherly that he melted into her side further. "You don't have to do this."

"I do!" He whined. "I do!"

"Bobby, can you shine your torch down, see if we can see it?" Eddie radioed up, his face turned 'skyward' to get a better look. "Yeah! Hey, yeah! I can see it. Not directly but it's reaching us. Buck, look, look up."

And Buck did. As Eddie had said, it wasn't a direct beam, for directly ahead was the tunnel ceiling- or a wall?- but they could definitely see it, and it was fairly bright.

"Hey, that must mean we're closer than we think." Hen tapped him on the helmet, almost like a giddy child.

Eddie had stepped up a notch and turned back to face Buck. "Chris?" He waited for a response. "I need one last push for Bucky!"

The boy was quiet for half a minute and they all waited to see what would come but when it did, his voice was soft, mature, nurturing. "You got this kid."

"You hear that? You _got_ this. We can do this." Eddie held out a hand for Buck to take and Hen moved beside him to mirror the other man.

"We can do this hon."

Buck stumbled up, his breath taken away from the renewed pressure on his leg and he bit his cheek to suppress the groan but he took both offered hands and spoke between his tears. "We can do this."

Nodding, they all agreed and began the incline once more, this time much slower and with many more pauses. Eddie kept as constant a hold on him as possible whilst making his own way over the rubble, holding his body within the curve of his own and talking to him the whole time. And when Eddie or Hen, or Bobby, Chim, Athena, Maddie or Chris and Carla on the other end of the radio, asked after his wellbeing he would tell them honestly and with less anger.

_"Not brilliant, but don't stop."_

_"Sore."_

_"Give me a minute."_

_"I just need a breather."_

_"Cramp, Hen hit my leg."_ This one received an eye roll and Eddie holding back a moment so he could massage Buck's leg from behind.

They were so focused on the rocks at their feet that the sudden flash of a light startled them all. "What the?" Hen was the one to look upward- with Eddie not taking his eyes off Buck's almost grey face- and notice the much stronger beam of light and something that looked a lot less like rock and more like... "DIRT!"

"What?" Buck looked up, seeing what she had seen. There, above them, was a fresh layer of mud, soil, sand, and damaged plants. It was the mouth of the tunnel.

Alerted by the voices, a figure suddenly walked toward the entrance, their flashlight shining in and almost blinding them. "Oh thank god. Bobby! BOBBY!"

It was Athena.

Buck dragged himself over the last pieces of upright rubble and fell flat on the floor as it levelled out. He stayed there, face down, for a few moments just feeling the grit on his face and the now cool breeze washing over him from beyond their rocky prison. He could still feel water and thick mud but a layer of pebbles and dust told him that the area had recently been cleared of the same wreckage they had just climbed up. His eyes wouldn't open and it felt like every part of him was shaking, trembling, vibrating.

"Buck?" Eddie and Hen were still at his side and took one of his arms each, trying to coax him up. He worked with them, pulling his legs beneath his body and settling on his knees. The small movement was enough, his head spinning, and a moment later he bent forward and threw up bile on the ground before him. "You're alright buddy, let it out."

And then Chim was there with some water and Buck swilled out his mouth and took a few cautious sips. Apparently Maddie was still on the phone and now on a video call because the next thing he was looking into the shrunken face of his sister. "Hey sweetheart, you did it. It's so good to see your face."

"Mads?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Re-evaluating my choice of the doctors not to take my leg off."

Hen gave him a playful tap and Bobby mumbled from his place beside Athena. His leg pulsed in time to his heartbeat but luckily that was now slowing down so the pain was only a high end 8 rather than a 10- or, an 8 on the Evan Buckley scale, which is probably more like a 30 on the ordinary scale. He realised that kneeling on it wasn't helping and tried to pull it out from beneath him. Everything was just so heavy, weighing him down in pain and exhaustion and even the smallest movements felt like great feats. His chest constricted from it all and he fell into Eddie with a new sob.

"I'm tired." He said to noone in particular. "I'm just so tired." And in all honesty, he wasn't sure he was only talking about the events of the day.

In the next moment it was his captain's face coming into his line of vision, his eyes boring into Buck's as he gently unclipped his helmet and lifted it from his head. Buck could feel his own curls wet through against his scalp, accentuated by the cool breeze blowing onto his newly exposed head. "You don't have to do anything else now Buck, alright, _we_ got it now. Ok? You did so good son. You can rest, we'll get you where you need to be-"

"No hospital!" Buck interrupted, though he know not how, for his energy levels were non-existent.

"Buck, you need checking out. Your leg-"

"It's not broken cap. I checked. Badly bruised but a night without a hospital visit won't do him any harm."

Oh bless you Henrietta- he hoped he hadn't accidentally said that out loud again.

Bobby paused, looking between Buck and Hen. "Are you sure? I know you're trying to protect him but as his captain-" He cut himself off this time. "- as his friend, I need to know he'll be alright."

"I'll stay with him, and I'm sure Maddie will be joining us." Eddie said from beside him.

"Absolutely, I'm coming straight after my shift ends in 3 hours. Unless you need me now..."

"No Mads, we got it." Chim smiled at his partner but sighed and half whispered. "Guess if Maddie's joining the sleepover, that means I am too!"

"Sleepover!?" Oops, looks like Chris was still on the line somewhere.

"No mijo, not tonight, I'm sorry. Buck needs rest and quiet. I know you love him and he loves you but when he's feeling better you can butter him in kisses and hugs. Yeah?"

Christopher sighed on the phone. "Ok daddy."

"Carla? If you need to leave him with Tia..."

"No baby I got him. No problem I promise."

They ended phonecalls and began to move Buck. He greened up every time they moved him and he found the only way to lessen the feeling was closing his eyes but the pain in his leg still flared and sent blackness flying across his mind with every step. He stopped again and squeezed whoever's hand was in his own left one.

"You good? Need to puke?" Apparently it was Athena to his left and she carded her free hand in his still damp curls.

"Hmm.." He felt himself sway on the spot and the strong arm of Eddie's around his waist and the supporting hands of Hen behind him tightened their holds. "Dizzy."

"Just a few more steps Buck, then you're at my cruiser." Athena helped guide him forward, the news helping entice him onward.

Sure enough a moment later he heard a door open and he was slid into leather clad seats of a vehicle that definitely held Athena's wonderful scent, apples and pine.

"Right, Eddie you're riding with him. Athena's taking you back to the station to get dressed and collect your bags and then you're welcome to take him straight home. I want updates, understood!?"

"Yeah cap. Thanks." The seat dipped slightly beside him as Eddie joined him. "We're ok Buck. But try not to throw up in Athena's car, we may not survive the journey if you do."

He knew his friend was joking, and could even hear a puke bag being rustled beside him in preparation, but he did worry about the continuation of shame in front of so many people today.

There was another door slamming and the engine started. "You both ok back there? Buck I need you to tell me to slow down if I go too fast, alright?"

"Why? You planning on competing in the Indianapolis 500 to get us home?" Buck felt sick to talk but forced the joke out, feeling good when he received laughs from his family.

Athena pulled off and Buck leant back into the seat and partially into Eddie's side. The man was stroking the curls on his head and always kept one hand on Buck's, his fingers tracing the younger man's pulse point. There was one incident during the ride when Buck jerked and Eddie scrambled for the bag in his lap, holding it up just in time for Buck to expel the meagre amount of water he'd consumed but otherwise it was a quiet and uneventful journey. Athena announced their arrival, more for Buck who still had his eyes closed, and pulled up as close to the entrance and she could.

Together they helped Buck out and into the changing rooms. He slumped on the bench and Eddie had to pry his turnout coat off his limp arms. When he moved to the man's pants Buck grumbled.

"Shut-up complaining, once this is over with you can get your lazy ass in bed."

"I can't get them off." Tears sprang to Buck's eyes as he pulled (if 'pulled' could be used as the term for what Buck tried to do to remove his clothing) at the material, the offending items not moving an inch.

"It's alright Ev, we can do this."

**Author's Note:**

> Why oh why can’t I write short bits!? Admiring so many more pieces and they’re such great lengths, and here’s mine looking like an essay. Hope it wasn’t too bad. Thanks to ALL who take part in these amazing set up weeks, and everyone for always creating wonderful content- so talented!! I also cross post on Tumblr or at least share links to new works on there so please take a look at those too and maybe give some likes/reblogs? (Same username as here, or my personal blog of 'clotpoleincamelot') I know I don't produce anything amazing but it's nice to know some people appreciate the works and maybe help others find it too.  
> Take Care. xx


End file.
